mostassuredly

BFA & Bail Money

2005-11-14T19:20:29Z

Looks as if my Bachelor's may come with a warrant for my arrest if I continue to break into buildings to get the shots that I want. Last night Todd and I made an effort to get into the abandoned factory across the lot from our Condo and found it rather simple. Mix one part 6'10 and one part 5'10 and you'll find the combined height (with arms outstretched) high enough for me to grab onto and subsequently pull myself through a second story window. What a playground (if it weren't for the motion sensors.) I'll post a shot on here when I get one scanned.

-----

Nap time.

Kitty Catalysts

2005-11-07T00:17:11Z

Went and saw "Saw 2" yesterday evening with a bunch of people in Auburn. If that movie doesn't disturb you, nothing will.

Afterwards a group of us headed back to Joe's place to partake in some beverages. Around an hour or so into it Joe thought it would be a good idea to shake his cat in the fashion of a jackhammer. It sort of looked like it was getting the cat off.

Amusing... oh so much.

Around ten minutes later I noticed Ashley looking over towards Joe's room and overacting a forced gagging face. Following her gaze I locked eyes on the same cat just in time to see it throw up on my boots.

Amusing... not so much.

Photo Fantabulous

2005-11-01T02:54:12Z

Time to get your two-faced photo-face on.

It's sad to think that my senior year at MECA is being spent trying to avoid the drama floating around our department. None of us are horrible people. Some of us are having a bad semester. Justin is not an asshole, he just wants to see us do this right. In the meantime, tensions have been high and yes, I have wanted to kill people at times.

Lastly, NY rocks... except for the whole driving part. Too bad our professor didn't hang around for us. Rush hour traffic happens.

----

Someday I'll look back at this and laugh. Well, that's when I have a real job.

Dreadful Driving

2005-10-17T17:09:41Z

So I went down to Ashley's dad's wedding earlier this week... nothing out of the ordinary or what I expected until leaving the reception around 9:30 at night or so.

So let me explain something to you. There are drivers on the road that sometimes make you turn your head to one side and mutter, "what the f..." . There are also drivers on the road that make you wonder what they are attempting to accomplish while driving. Then you have some drivers that make you wish a drunken driver would remove them from your field of vision so you could proceed carefully. That was our driver.

It's one thing to be drunk and it's one thing to be tired. It's another thing altogether to drive as if you were drunk and tired while sober and awake. I'm pretty sure we nearly took out a few cars in the adjacent lanes and took one off-ramp at a blistering speed of 5 MPH. No I'm not bullshitting you. An entire off-ramp. Picture chugging fifteen beers in five minutes. You'd have slept off the hangover before we made it the hundred or so yards between 95 and 38 North.

So here's my advice. If you get on the highway and drive as if you're blind, don't be surprised if you can still hear me calling you a jackass as I blow by you at a reasonable speed.

------

Other than that, it was a good time. Shot off some film I'm going to get developed soon. Drank at least six drinks at the open bar including (but not limited to) a rum and coke, jack and coke, pearl harbor, screwdriver, and vodka and cranberry juice. Good thing I can't afford things like that.

Color My World Mine

2005-07-08T13:20:58Z

I once met a man who trained himself not to dream
What he seems to have seen was a glimpse of everything
He's been painting pictures on canvas since age thirteen
And claims he only exists in the mind of a higher being
And I enjoy his work; mostly scenic landscapes
But each one is focused on an easel where the man paints himself painting himself
And all that's in his visual field
He said this was the only way he could make himself real
Ever since he could remember, he had one nightmare reoccur
But until about ten years ago, it didn't matter
It consisted of loud, distorted sounds echoing off the concrete
He ran on top of it in attempt to reach a ladder
Now sometimes, he'd get so close but never touch his destination
Which caused him much frustration 'cause he didn't know what it meant
And by the end of the dream, he saw the scene from a bird's eye
Only to witness his dead body laying on the cement

It was only to witness his dead body laying on the cement
At first it freaked him out, but after a while he grew content
So he thought, "It's just a dream," and kept living his life
Writing his soul on the canvas 'cause it sheds his planet light
And it goes on and on like space and time, ain't nothing odd
It's not that he didn't believe, he just didn't approve of God
His experience was one I couldn't comprehend
'Till I stopped being detective and listened to him as a friend
He said

He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
It was then that he knew he was the art of divinity
He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
A brush stroke of the gods made him one note in their symphony
He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
He spoke for himself and not the rest of humanity
He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
And I realize that I'm not real
God just imagined me

It's like I said
About ten years ago, the event that changed his whole reality
Took place on his monthly trip to the local art gallery
It was there where he studied his contemporaries
And there where he nearly carried his sanity to a hole and buried it forever
It was a very mysterious day
The place was almost empty
And he got chills down his spine just being present in the scene
On the wall, there was a picture that looked familiar
And when he got close, his heart stopped
cause he saw it was a painting of his dream
It was a painting of his dream
His body on a runway
By a ladder to an airplane with its propellers spinning
Which accounted for the loud noise
The match up was perfect
And that was the day he stopped believing in existing
He resented his creator
I mean, words can't explain
What must have went on in his brain while he stared into a frame
Of a work of art which he created and was at the same time
The mind can't handle that much, it's just insane
It's like reading a book where each words describe your thoughts
And in quotations, it reads whatever you say when you talk
You think it can't happen
But it did happen
I guess there's surprisingly wide cracks in each life's sidewalk
He stumbled upon an answer when he never had a question
And decided to stop dreaming to maintain his mental health
Now he hardly talks to people
Just stays in his basement
Writing infinity, by painting himself
Painting himself
This is a strange universe
Is it all just a blueprint?
In the real universe, is my consciousness useless?
Are we really something a higher intelligence made up?
A figment of imagination colored by a cosmic paintbrush?
Maybe all of our art creates the fate of other beings
Then every character in ever novel thinks it's alive and were just gods
Ruling blindly
Just a theory
I don't know what it means
But that's the story of the man who trained himself not to dream

He once saw a paining that told his whole life story
He witnessed the paradox of the word "existing"
He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
He colored his world theirs, and concluded he wasn't living
He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
The hidden variable that all that is is art
And when I close my eyes, I see eternity as a story
A God imagined the God that imagined me
And I am God
And so on

The Todd Track Record

2005-07-07T18:03:37Z

Todd swung the door open with ease. I figured since it wasn't bolted that this would be more or less a routine photo shoot. John and I crawled in behind him and checked out the scene; an entirely empty building that looked like an abandoned parking lot. John and I kneeled down at the entrance and checked out the massive corridor that lay before us. Convinced it would make a great photo, (the first of many, or at least I had intended it to be) I set down my bag and tripod and began to set shit up.

No one had seen us enter the building and we had three stories to ourselves. Talk about Christmas morning. I pulled them film out of my bag as Todd began to go check out the remaining portion of the downstairs level. Giving John some aperture advice, I noticed that Todd had dissapeared around a corner. No big deal, I'll just load this film and...

-------------------

Forty yards away from the building, after climbing through the underside of the train tracks and pulling some Jet Li shit trying to monkey my way through the swampy terrain, Todd explains that everything was cool until he looked to the left and noticed a bright yellow box with a small red light on it next to the stairs.

I wish I had the film loaded for the 100 yard sprint that Todd pulled off by the time I looked up. The sound screaming from all sides of the building had him diving out the window and me grabbing for all my shit and pulling a hasty retreat as well.

The lesson of the story: We found an entrance into the abandoned building next to our condo. This photo shoot will happen.

Tequila Sunrise

2005-07-06T02:36:21Z

Let's hear it for celebrating our independence. Unfortunately, had our ancestors done it the same way someone else probably would have marched in and usurped the country from our drunken asses.

I can at least say that I recall some of the night. The "evidence locker," as Mike has lovingly referred to it, doesnt shed much light but does offer a slight glimpse as to what went down. Besides the tequila in my throat.

Feeling sort of... off lately. Can't really quite put my finger on it but everything just seems... not right. Since two hours of Halo online wasn't able to fix it, I'm not quite sure how deep this problem might go. Maybe it's had something to do with that constant alcohol flow lately. I need to cut back on that shit.

However, I cannot deny the amusement that comes from finding my shoes and keys in a field about seventy-five yards away from Joe's house the morning after the "event."

So there we have it, an update. This should start happening more from now on.

Baked At The Bakery

2005-04-04T14:49:44Z

So this morning we watched a film that covered worm holes in the fabric of space-time. The major error going in development was that they enlisted the aid of a donut to help explain it. I go to an art school.

You could hear the stoners drooling.

Just Make It Go Away

2005-03-21T15:39:50Z

"What else can I do when the tears have all been wasted?
And the only voice you choose to hear
Sings the songs of our hearts breaking.
Say your dreams, they all have changed.
Well, my smiles, they all have faded.
And the thoughts that used to seem so pure in my heart,
They now feel jaded.
Because I wanna feel like I did.
And I wanna feel innocence.
What else can it be except this pride I’m sick of drinking"

Mystery Milk

2005-03-14T15:47:34Z

Monday, March 14, 2005 9:39:46 AM
Message

"Flores,Rich" (Email address omitted)

RE: Routine

"It is best to have the skim or 1% milk. There is something in the milk that
will help your body process the fat. We don't know what it is but we know
that it works."

--------------------

Sage advise from my nutritionist in response to my inquiry as to why more milk in my diet would help me burn fat, and whether or not to drink whole or skim.

Props for Porn

2005-03-14T03:31:25Z

Yeah, so I finally got around to perusing through "Female Perversions," a book reccomended to my lit class last semester to further our understanding of upstanding, moral men such as Marquis De Sade and his slightly disturbing, if not repetitive, fruitful descriptions of sadomasichism.

I know, a light read.

It's weird for me to think of how this stuff is portrayed clinically. The overall idea is that a person manifests a fetish to suppress a deep-seated fear, misconception, or inadequacy. These fetishes then take the place of behavior that may not be deemed suitable for most people's everyday life. For instance, a sadist's need to inflict pain for sexual arousal is apparently all that's keeping him from butchering up the nearest member of the opposite (or same) sex. Freaky shit. According to this text, other fetishes are nearly the same: repression so little johhny doesen't go apeshit.

This leads to some other interesting concepts. For instance: you made fun of that old dilapitated man with the gimp right leg that used to go to your local video store and buy out the back room. Grandpa had a habit, and you and your friends probably got as much a kick out of it as I did. But apparently Grandpa only did this so he wouldn't take a twelve gauge to your twelve-year old ass. Remember that the next time you see some old guy waltz out of the local porn store with the french-maid collection in hand. That means he has a lot of pent up frustration, and if he wasn't beating his meat he'd probably be beating your ass.

Bitchin' BFA

2005-03-11T23:48:39Z

It's Friday night back in Portland. There's nearly half a foot of snow on the ground. I damn near made it back here this time...

So, apparently my truck is almost ready to bite the bullet. The fuel line popped out for the second time at home. In the middle of a f$%!#@$% blizzard and my step-father and I had to tow the little bitch into a nearby parking lot and hope that it wouldn't get towed in the morning.

See also: Frustration
See also: Pain in my ass

As mentioned before, tonight is Friday night and the suite is almost empty... this needs to change. Calls have been made and plans have been laid but we've yet to see who shows up. I don't really know how drunk I want to get tonight... sometimes you're in that mood for passing out and sometimes you're in that mood for a mellow buzz. All I know is I have a good collection of Fire Water in my fridge that is just begging to be consumed.

See also: Carpet Olympics
See also: Shitfaced Shindig

For those of you who are actually interested, this quick little entry's writing style can be attributed to "Choke," by Chuck Palahniuk ( aka writer of "Fight Club.") Good book, slightly deranged; worth a read. You won't be dissapointed, but perhaps slightly offended.

Let's go photo-major. Many more interesting, if not slightly redundant photos to come. Boo-ya BFA. "Pretentious" isn't the right word, but it's the first one that comes to mind.

What up Now

2005-02-08T13:36:08Z

No, I'm not dead. I just have a tendency to slack.

Hmmm. Horizontal like a fat suburban momma?

It's 8:31 AM. Do you know where your college education is?

And now for a joke I read in Maxim (enlightening isn't it?):

Two good friends are driving in a car one night, and one looks over at his buddy and says, "Hey, do you ever talk to your wife after sex?" The other man earnestly replies, "Well sure... assuming I can find a phone"

Yeah, that was wrong. Have a splentastic day.

Get back at me.

So Gramma Got You Beer

2004-11-27T22:48:46Z

So Grandma got me beer. This is a strange turning point in my life; I take it that she saw my mom feeding me wine on Thanksgiving and figured what the hell, if she says its ok then it must be alright. Cleverly disguising them with the term "diet soda" (or maybe because she was too embarassed to say, "want some BEER?" ) she packed them into my bag before my return trip to Portland.

Well, not much to say lately. Up to my ass in homework and it's keeping me from the gym. @$@#$# MECA. Oh well, the fruits of my labor (at least for my digital photography class) can be summed up in the following picture:

...As for this photo...

You're going to need to go here to see the explanation....

Oh Yeah... I Feel Great!

4 x 5 Fantastic

2004-11-03T21:27:31Z

"An idea is a curious thing. It will not work unless you do."

And there, folks, is your MECA inspiration for the day. (Sadly enough, I enjoyed the quote so immensely that I forgot who deserves credit for it.)

Lastly, for my ongoing series (at least so it would seem) of random Rob pictures, here's a new one. Go ahead. Submit a quote that fits the picture. Your friends would like you more if you did. Anyways, back to work and then food and then work. Maybe.

Mom Would Be Proud

2004-11-03T01:56:03Z

A bottle of Grey Goose in my hand, a Casanova costume on, and I did believe that Saturday night would go better than it ended up turning out. It's really too bad that shit has to happen the way it does sometimes. One would think I would have been too drunk to really care but arbitrary rumors go a bit far sometimes. So, after a good three hours or so I walked a few miles in the pouring rain to Portland Hall. It's all good, Ash and I ordered pizza afterwards. I only regret seeing Todd dressed up as a french maid. That takes balls though, I must admit... or lack thereof? I dunno, nice job Todd.

Too much photo recently. I think I have finally come to a point in life where I am starting to realize what real work truly is and I'm having a hard time letting it interrupt the rest of my fun. I'm out of class one night and even other people are making reference to the fact that I bitch about not getting in enough gym time. I'm such a jock. But then, next to most MECA kids, how can I not be?

Let's give Creatine a big hell yeah. Finally interested enough to try it I test-ran a two-week cycle and discovered how to get back what I lost in a matter of weeks. I don't see myself using it that much... pro-longed use can lead to liver-failure, kidney-failuer, and liver systs, but what else is new? Too much smiling can get you punched in the face. I'll probably save a three-week cycle for when I actually have time to go four or five times a week again. Something about lifting ridiculous amounts of weight keeps me feeling alive. Just don't do what this guy did. Disclaimer: The following link should be avoided by anyone with a weak stomach.

Mom would be proud ...

Mo Yeah

2004-09-22T19:08:11Z

Yeah. that's right... I'm not dead.

Go art school.

Today we discussed the options for sending a proposal to NASA for sending artists into space. This was in my "Violence/Non-Violence in Art History" class. What that has to do with the topic is beyond me. Why we have required reading is beyond me. Couldn't I just drop certain classes and be able to pay less when it doesen't benifiet my education to any extent? Oh well, at least I got to listen to the kid who wishes he did stand up. I honestly can't connect with these people that argue and debate just to listen to their own voice. They just need a good smack upside the head. Where the hell did that orange thing Todd ganked last New Years go....

Roomate Roulette

2004-08-25T23:21:18Z

It looks as if it's that time again to play roomate roulette. Joy, the Residential Director for Portland Hall, decided to remove our fourth roomate, Rich. Her reasons for this were straightforward and fairly obvious to at least me: Rich is dating one of the RAs in Portland Hall and by rooming him with us Joy would inadvertently be putting Monajune (Rich's girlfriend) in a situation to bust us for underage drinking.

Thing wouldn't be so bad if this didn't leave me wondering who our roomate would be. I came back from the gym today to see "Troy" posted next to our names on the door. To be honest, a name usually indicates nothing. However, stereotypes tend to follow names depending on ethnic ties and what not. Troy? I was thinking perhaps he'd either car-bomb me or lower the collective temperature of our hallway with the ice around his neck. Given that I'm twenty and still have no idea what I'm talking about half the time, I turned out to be dead wrong... so it seems. I went to Joy's office shortly after seeing his name on our door and requested information. That she did; before I knew it she was pulling up course schedules and geographic backgrounds. Apparently he's a twenty-four year old from Auburn, ME who's taking art classes and computer programming, among other things, at USM.

Apparently I was wrong. Unless he thugs out his PC with a chrome mouse.

Kick Out The Jams

2004-08-24T00:34:32Z

Yeah, so in other news...

Steal that and I'll play the part of the IRS audit team and repossess your teeth.
In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy having music in my car again.

Reefer Madness

2004-08-18T16:43:24Z

" Penetrating.. you read Eric Schlosser to get mad. Or better yet... to explain why everyone else should be." -Los Angeles Times Book Review

"In September, 1996, Congressmen Randy "Duke" Cunningham attacked President Clinton for being "cavalier" toward illegal drug use and for appointing too many "soft on crime" liberal judges. "We must get tough on drug dealers," Cunningham argued. "Those who peddle destruction on our children must pay dearly." Four months later, his son Randall Todd Cunningham was arrested by the DEA after helping to transport 400 pounds of marijuana from California to Massachusetts. Although Todd Cunningham confessed to having been part of a smuggling ring that had shipped as much as 30,000 pounds of marijuana throughout the United States - a crime that can lead to a life sentence without parole - he was charged with distributing only 400 pounds of pot. The prosecutor in his case recommended a sentence of fourteen months at a boot camp and a halfway house. Congressman Cunningham begged the judge for mercy. "My son has a good heart," he said, fighting back tears. "He's never been in trouble before." Todd Cunningham was sentenced to two and a half years in prison. He might have received an even shorter sentence had he not tested positive for cocaine three times while out on bail."

All I can say that if you haven't picked up Schlosser yet, you should. Reefer Madness and Fast Food Nation are two books worth spending your time reading. Not to get pissed off, not for the entire picture; simply to be informed.

Catch the Couch

2004-08-08T15:25:47Z

Living in high society requires having expensive furniture in one's room, even if that means that this expensive furniture requires an orthopedic appointment upon installation. It had to be lugged up the stairs since it wouldn't fit in the elevator and then forcibly wedged inside our room (let's just say the threshold to the door isn't as nice and pristine as it used to be.) Ashley's mom was nice enough to let us have her couch once she moved out of her apartment and we are definitly reaping the benefits now, although my back nearly telescoped trying to get the thing up here with Rob. It has been dubbed the ROAN, a nice little acronym compromised of both our names (it sounded sort of epic, like Ronin.)

At any rate, not much has been happening recently. We all have gotten a little too drunk, some of us alittle too arrested, and a select few a tad overworked. All to come with the end of the summer and a time that I can honestly look back and say I worked too fucking much. I'm definitly financially set at this point, but it does suck to have to work that hard to up my bank account. Hopefully next year I can score a position making a bit more cash in a shorter period of time. As long as I can do it in Portland.

Finished reading "Why America Slept." Good book, a bit boring at times due to all the legal facts they dump in and, what I considered, unneccesary information. At any rate, moved onto "Fast Food Nation" and shortly "Reefer Madness," both by author Eric Schlosser. Fast Food Nation has proved an interesting read already, and I'm defintly anticipating "Reefer Madness." I'll get back to you on those.

Friendly Fisticuffs

2004-07-23T17:02:19Z

Back again, and not a hard drive too soon. Sorry to all my LJ fans out there; (I know you're there, I can hear you breathing) my hard drive shit the bed not too long after my truck was broken into so thus I was not able to post in here for alittle while. I can definitly vouch for Apple's Warranty program though. They mailed me a box to ship my laptop out in on Thursday, I shipped it out Friday and had the repaired Powerbook back in my hands Monday afternoon (shipment-free.) Go Apple.

Not too much new stuff to report lately. Went to a party last Saturday night and found out the joys of large black men showing up un-announced. Extremely friendly and jovial, he didn't bother the guys too much but the fact that he was over thirty and just sort of showed up freaked the girls out a tad. Getting him to leave over the process of forty or so minutes was interesting and almost involved a few fist fights and the cops. However, he eventually left of his own accord and stumbled back to whatever UPS box he had crawled out of.

Got recruited to take senior pictures for roughly $150 the other day. My first photo-gig and it's pretty exciting. They even paid for my film and plan to take care of the developing. We'll see how that goes.

Put A Smile On Your Face

2004-07-07T17:03:26Z

Well, I had planned on going to the gym this morning until I went down to the parking lot and discovered what remained of my front seat.

People like this make me want to find them and insert my foot into their ass. What really erks me is that my "Comprehensive" insurance has a $500 deductable and may not cover after-market items (such as my $425 stereo.) Almost as cool as the fact that your health insurance company has a very high chance of dropping your coverage if you so much as even get tested for AIDs. Some services just aren't worth the money.

On the brighter side, I'd been wanting to take some photos recently so at least I got to this morning. God help the poor bastard who did this if I ever find him.

The Elderly Demographic

2004-07-05T23:02:48Z

Watching the History Channel today, I noticed why the elderly demographic is glued to it. Tuned to their personal needs, it re-introduces each show's title after every commercial break. Go grandma, it's your birthday.

Tonight's Battleplan

2004-07-01T19:20:55Z